Dear Fear …

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In Episode 3: Courage (& Fear) of The Soul’s Work Podcast, I share a letter that I wrote to Fear in my quest to develop a different, more compassionate, relationship with Fear. Here is that letter:

Dear Fear,

I want to apologize. I haven’t treated you so well for most of my life. Whenever you’ve tried to talk to me, I’ve reacted by resenting you, sometimes hating you, and wishing that you would just go away entirely. I’m sorry. You must have felt really rejected, maybe even abused sometimes.

‘Cause the thing that I realize clearly now is that you have only been trying to help me. Your intention has not been to ruin my life. You just want to protect me, to keep me safe, because you care about my wellbeing.

And I guess I kind of acted like that rebellious teenager, who butts heads and fights with their overbearing parent. But I understand that, like any parent, you’re just doing your job. You didn’t even ask for that job. You just got sent over to my brain for fear duty. And quite frankly, I didn’t ask for you either. But here we are, together. And we always will be.

So, now I want to have an adult, heart-to-heart conversation with you. Here’s the thing. There are definitely going to be times in my life when I need you. Like if I’m backcountry camping and a big ass bear jumps out at me in the woods, Fear, I need you step the fuck up. I need you to help me whip out that bear spray and go all Revenant on its ass.

But Fear, there’s a whole lot of other situations where you can stand down. At ease, soldier. ‘Cause we got our sister friends over here, too — we got Honesty and Courage — and they’re also here to help out when I need them.

So, during those times, when I ask you: “Hey Fear, this is one of those situations where my life isn’t being threatened. It’s really not as serious as you think it is. Here, have a seat in this comfy chair. I’d offer you some wine … to sedate you … but that might not be the best idea. So, here’s a warm cup of tea. Enjoy it.

And I just respectfully ask that you let Honesty, Courage, and I have a conversation right now. And you know what? I bet if you take some time to just quietly listen to what they have to say, you might actually feel comforted by their words, and realize that they’ve got this. We’re all gonna be okay.

Thank you so much, Fear, for being there for me, but also for giving me the space I need now to grow.

With love and gratitude,

Janice

(You can listen to Episode 3: Courage (& Fear) of The Souls Work Podcast on: Apple PodcastsSoundCloud | Stitcher | Google Play | PlayerFM | Please leave a rating and review to help others find the show! ❤)

Unveiled

I don’t indulge in many podcasts, but when I do get in the mood for some good talks, I love tuning in to The Motivational Millennial Podcast.

I find that I always leave with some newfound wisdom or encouragement to do better for myself, whether it’s related to work life or my personal development.

Well, today, I wanted to share my reflections on their finale episode for Season 1, which was all about the sometimes fear-inducing topic of vulnerability.

As Blake and Ivy mention, we typically regard vulnerability as an unfavourable state that should be avoided at all costs.

I even noticed that the thesaurus tends to paints vulnerability in a negative light, pairing it with words like unsafe, weak, threatened.

But then, one other synonym caught my eye: Unveiled.

For me, the idea of an “unveiling” conjures up the image of uncovering something special hidden underneath the shroud that has been masking it.

For example, an exquisite piece of art may be unveiled at the grand opening of an exhibit. The cloth that had been draped over the artwork was but a sheath to hide the beautiful masterpiece underneath.

In many ways, we live covered up under layers of our own mask — a mask stitched together with elements of fear, insecurity, shame, and guilt.

And the longer our magnificent artwork remains hidden, the more we forget what it looks like.

What were those brilliant shades of colour that brought our creation to life? What were the details in the drawing — the lines here, the curves there, the bold strokes, the faded etches — that made our picture whole?

The more layers we pile on top of our masterpiece, the heavier the shroud becomes and the more effort it takes to strip it away.

But there’s good news, if you take this analogy one step further. It also means that you — the authentic You — is completely separate from the mask you wear on top of it.

In other words, the mask — all of the negative self-perceptions you hold close to you — is actually not a part of who you truly are.

And like a physical mask, if you remove it from yourself, it doesn’t take anything away from you as person. If anything, the authentic You shines brighter. You have the freedom to finally be seen, unveiled.

You can listen to the podcast episode on Vulnerability to gain more insights into how making yourself vulnerable actually strengthens you.

In the meantime, have the courage to at least take a peek at what’s under the veil. Reconnect with the masterpiece that you are. Remind yourself of the colours and details that make you whole.

And if you’re feeling extra brave, fling that veil off altogether and celebrate the freedom of sharing your authentic self with the rest of the world!

Lots of love & self-love,
Janice xo